Need new shoes? Why not do what I do.
1. Get up in the morning and have your coffee.
2. Forget to eat.
3. Put on leggings because they’re easy for trying on shoes, but forget that you’ll need to try on shoes and wear the heaviest boots you have, that are hardest to take off.
4. Walk to mall/shopping place.
5. Feel proud of self for picking such comfortable boots that still have the beauty of heels or platforms.
6. Start rummaging shops.
7. Sweat over the boots.
8. Try on first pair of shoes.
9. Fall in love.
10. Try on another pair.
12. Look at first pair again.
14. Leave and say ‘I have to think about it’.
15. Enter another store.
16. Take off boots again (it’s a process).
17. Try on shoes.
18. Walk around in them.
19. Be disgusted by other shoes in the store.
20. Talk to clerk about makeup.
21. Agree with clerk about makeup.
22. Say ‘I might come back’ and leave store.
23. Go to the ‘expensive store’.
24. Find perfect shoes.
26. Promise self that you will be able to buy shoes like that all the time one day.
28. Take of shoes.
29. Hate clerk.
31. Go to ‘cheap store’.
32. Buy random pair you kind of like from the shelves.
33. Buy Crocs.
34. Ponder over cheap purse.
35. Decide it actually looks cheap.
36. Leave store.
37. Start to feel pain in perfect boots.
38. Enter another store.
39. Find nothing.
40. Sit down for coffee.
41. Remember you had no food in the morning.
42. Still have coffee.
43. Feel stomach rumbling.
44. Get up, ignore.
45. Ponder over Domino’s.
46. Go back to first store.
47. Buy first shoes.
48. Feel happy.
49. Leave store.
50. Start feeling serious feet pain.
51. Start hating perfect boots.
52. Get cab.
53. Get home.
54. Eat everything.
55. Walk around in new shoes and underwear.
56. Eat again.
So there you have it. Fifty-seven easy steps to get to your perfect pair of shoes. That’s seven more than the number of shades of Grey.
Any additions, to make it easier?
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