“You don’t have to be French to be a Parisian.“
That, coming from Karl Lagerfeld about Paris and Parisians, is as good as quoting God from the Bible, (and even more important, cause Karl is HERE) so I’m gonna take his word for it. As for you other almost Parisians, whether you plan to make it your title for life, or just for a short while, here’s some useful info on what to expect when you’re in Paris.
1. You will WALK. You’ll think you know everything and you’ll think you know exactly where you are on a map, but you will walk some more nevertheless.
2. The Paris metro is one of the most perfect ones in the world. I prefer it to the bus and it will get you everywhere. And sometimes you’ll have to walk, again, but use it.
3. Also, the Paris metro is a perfect inspiration pool for characters. Especially the ones that tell you you’re beautiful and deserve a special place in your story. Fictional.
4. About 3-4 people on Pigalle will offer to be your boyfriend. Per day.
5. Make it 5-6, if you’re walking alone.
6. There are fantastic record shops hidden in authentic Paris streets. Google maps, and get yourself some vinyl if you’re a fan.
7. If you sit down for coffee and leave your phone on the table, you will probably lose it to a person running past you and making a living from you not paying attention to your belongings.
8. Should you lose your Iphone, you can buy one on Pigalle after 7 p.m. No box or anything.
9. Should you buy an Iphone on Pigalle after 7 p.m, you will find that it is a plastic replica and you’ll have no one to blame but yourself.
10. The other product sold after 7 p.m. on Pigalle is Chanel No. 5. Also not real.
11. The absolute cheapest place to eat is McDonald’s.
12. Cheese plates and wine is the best thing that can ever happen to you.
13. Even the cheap wine is good.
14. Sometimes, crepes-to-go are a much better solution than fine dining.
15. Waiters are rude, and it’s okay. Get over it, we’re not gonna change them now.
16. You can look your best for 2000 and for 200 euros. Maybe even 20. Open your eyes.
17. The best souvenirs are on Montmartre.
18. Don’t let magazines fool you that it’s only okay to walk Paris in heels. It is the best way, but, check 1.
19. Contrary to popular belief, the Parisians are very helpful when you don’t know where you are. They are fantastic, in fact. It would be helpful to learn a few French phrases though.
20. Just learn French anyway, it’s beautiful.
21. Accept the fact that you’ll never be alone in front of the Eiffel Tower, Sacre Coeur, Notre Dame, or Champs-Élysées. Or any other place you ‘simply have to go to when in Paris’.
22. Every picture you take will be great.
Bonus: It gets dark after 10.30 pm during the summer.